I dont want to walk on a treadmill.  But if I don't want to walk aimlessly either.  But once I step off the treadmill, I'd be walking down a road of uncertainty.  And no matter of how fast I walk backwards, I won't turn back time.
GAHHK. I guess I can't stay in highschool forever... not that i really want to,  but I'm definately NOT ready for university.

And It's not like I have any other option other than continuing post-secondary (university is a must) right away.  I'm Chinese! I was born in China.  How much more Chinese can I get? I'll become an orphan if i chose to take a year off from school and then continue.  *Sigh... can't wait until I get my first C- in university, I can hear my mom's shriek already.

wow. i never knew lifed sucked this much

Oh well at least I have the summer to enjoy quality time with friends and boyfriend.

<3

although, half of the time I will be working and saving up money for university.
saving money? who am i kidding. i meant spending money buying university clothes.. (sweats, hoodies, ugg boots, rain coats)
and maybe buying a tabogan (sp?) so i can slide down the mountain when the roads are closed and meet up Betty and Jenn at UBC for some winter party thing.

.. i feel like such a xanga noob. LOL

and im so bored. JENN WHERE ARE YOU. are you still sleeping? because we have to go waves and study math. LOL

and where is jonjon. he said he would wake up at 8... its 11.. i dont wanna wake him up cuz hes scary when i wake him up =(

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hmmm. it doesn't feel like im leaving killarney. feels like ill be back in september
my conscious brain knows that ill be gone after this. but it just doesn't feel like it. im pretty sure im not the only one though. pretty sure that all of you guys feel the same no?
its because prom and grad ceremony happens before we're actually done highschool. thanks for making it emotionally hard for us to leave highschool. stupid vancouver school board
but i guess it doesnt matter whether i get to say goodbye to everyone that i know in highschool. because i'll see them around again. probably. most likely. and hey. i get to end highschool with jenn, betty, cynthia and ONEREPUBLIC. woot woot.

Time to make one last appeal
For the life that I lead (8)

It's been a little over a year since I left xanga to join the mass facebookers. I never liked change, not even when I switched from xanga to facebook.  When I'm new to something, I don't like it.  i'll admit that i am a bit of a control freak.  I like to have control over what can happen to me.  I actually don't like to put myself on the spot or take risks as much as i say i do. 

This whole year has been a big blur to me. 
i originally planned out my entire gr 12 year so that things won't go wrong, and i'll get into what i want successfully.  except out of no where, a boy came into my life, and became a big part of my life.  its so new and different that it scared me, and it still scares me.  having him in my life changed my entire grade 12 plan. 

all the grade 12 events.. grad lounge, europe, prom, and ceremony have already been done with. but sometimes i still get a weird feeling of excitement for the upcoming events of grad lounge, europe, prom and ceremony. and i look back at the pictures i took and i ask myself whether i was really there or not.

i can't explain these werid feelings. partly because im not that articulate, but mostly because im just lost.
and betty, your recent entry makes so much sense to me.  I've been pushing back what i have to do, because deep down im thinking that if i don't deal with it, it won't come.  But when that moment comes, i freak out. 

I don't know if im freaking out right now..  Do you call this freaking out?  I think i am freaking out.. but im not sure. and not even knowing how i feel makes me freak out even more.
this is like a chain of weird, confusing, unhappy emotions

but.. despite all these.. weird feelings im happy.
i like my life right now.. i have really GREAT friends that i love.  i have an AWESOME boyfriend that i adore, even though i deny the fact infront of him. and im so used to highschool that i dont want to leave
im really scared. really REALLY scared of whats going to happen next..
scared of losing touch with my closest friends
scared of not having enough time committed to my relationship, and perhaps scared of where that will end up
and of course, scared of how well i will adapt to univeristy

i keep telling myself to write corny, cheesy, goodbye notes to my friends but i can't do it.
im not the type to write those, and nothing EVER hits me until it has already happened. and by then its too late to do what i want to do or express or say.
so i guess im also scared of missing out on such things

wow, im scared of a lot of things..
but theres really nothing i can do about it. im scare and im scared. thats it.
so there, i guess i figured  out what my weird feeling is.
im scared.

wow. xanga.. again.

this feels soooo weird. i wonder whos still on this thing...

hello? hi. who's out there? this is angie =)

its almost like. ice cream
there are like a million flavours for you to try.
there are flavours that seem good at first, but after you try it, you say to yourself"wtf was i thinking?
you know what ice cream flavour i hate? mint chocolate chip
i mean i love chocolate, and i like mint. so, i thought that since i like the components of that flavour, i would like the flavour it self. but i proved myself wrong.
the mint chocolate chip looks pretty and I was deceived by its creamy green colour and tempting chocolate pieces. but when i tried it, i had to force myself to eat it
so i realized that maybe its just not good, and maybe i just don't like it.
but, it doesnt mean it's a bad flavour, and it doesn't mean that everyone will dislike it as much as i do. eventually, that flavour will be someone else's favourite and i'll find a favourite of my own.

= )

.